May 16, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

a Jar of Sacrifice

As I watched my children fight over who got the biggest piece of brownie, I wondered what I had done wrong. You see, my children are innately selfish which is compounded by the fact that we live in a culture focused on immediate gratification. Does it ever feel like everything in our society aims at filling our desires quickly? From fast food to Facebook, we do not need to wait or to wonder.

teaching kids to give

My children do not even know true hunger because I make sure to always have snacks readily available. We don’t want them grouchy, right? What would happen though if I taught them to wait on food, to endure hunger pains? I imagine their impulses would die down and an improved self-control develop.

I know a family that allows only one of their children at each visit to get a happy meal at McDonald’s. The other kids get just a sandwich. Sounds unfair, right? The kids don’t mind though and are excited for whoever’s turn it is. They have had practice sacrificing their desires for the sake of another and now it’s natural. They seem to have lost that sense of entitlement that is so common among today’s child.

So lately I am in pursuit of ways to teach my children the beauty in sacrifice, so that they might be able to extend generosity beyond their little worlds of self fulfillment.

One way we are practicing this is through a Jar of Sacrifice. We bought an oddly-shaped sea glass jar from Old Time Pottery. This is the place where not just spare change goes. It is a jar that chore money and birthday money can go. Nobody counts or pressures, it is just our own family vessel to practice giving. There’s a saying “Give until it hurts and then keep giving until it doesn’t”. When my kids do chores now, they don’t think twice about throwing in some or all of that money. They are slowly learning to loosen their grip.When the jar is filled, we will have a family gathering to discuss how we are going to bless others with its contents. They already have ideas brewing. I look forward to figuring out how to get the money out of that tiny hole, and I am certain there will be pride as we total those little sacrifices along the way.

My prayer is that their hearts will take such joy in seeing how these sacrifices have directly blessed others, that they will naturally be generous givers with all that has been entrusted to them, even if a brownie is involved.

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May 16, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Sunday morning clothing battle – don’t I look pretty, God?

(Lily was 5. This means her brothers were 1 and 2.)

Church starts in twenty minutes and the mad rush begins. I have laid out a pretty smocked dress from Lily’s closet. I scramble to feed the baby, fill sippy cups for the diaper bag, and dry my hair. I sense the protest from the other side of the house. The stomping gets closer as I hear the words I knew were coming,

“I am not wearing this dress!”

“Yes sweetheart, you are.”

Why?” she says with pleading.

“Because church is the house of God, and when we go there, we honor Him with our hearts and bodies. Our clothes are a representation of that. Your dress is beautiful and appropriate.” She pauses for a moment and then uttered the words which would change our Sunday mornings forever.

“That’s not why you want me to wear this dress. You want me to look pretty for the other moms! You don’t know what God thinks is beautiful on me!”

Bam! There it is. The truth I did not see. My conviction was instant. I had an image of how I wanted her to look on Sunday morning…in a cute dress with a big bow… for the other moms. I cringe writing that, embarrassed to admit it. She’s 5! Could I really be teaching her that her appearance, however fleeting, was the act of worship, not the heart behind it? Did I think I would be perceived as a better mom if my children looked a certain way? Honestly, maybe I would be. Did I really seek that validation?

My eyes tear up and I apologize…not just for this morning but for all the Sunday mornings that we battled because of my pride. I humbly send her back to her room to choose an outfit that SHE thought honoring and pleasing to the Lord.

That was the last Sunday I ever laid out clothes for her. It took a few weeks to overcome my desire to explain the cowboy boots and mismatched outfits, but I eventually found tremendous confidence in not explaining it….because I knew that there was a little girl who truly felt beautiful to her Maker. Over the years her fashion taste has refined and our Sunday rush more peaceful, but when she comes to me seeking affirmation about her clothing, my question remains the same, “Do you feel it honors the Lord?”

So today, when I see a little girl in an adorable dress, I smile at the sweet vision, partly wishing Lily’s dresses had gotten more wear…and when I see a little girl with cowboy boots and a tutu strutting her stuff at church, my heart melts because I know God is looking down on her with great delight…His beautiful daughter twirling like a country ballerina as her act of worship.

It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. ⁴No, your beauty should come from inside you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That beauty will never disappear. It is worth very much to God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

May 10, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

the Darker Side of Mother’s Day

photo by askinyourface.com

I was halfway through venting to a girlfriend today about my exhausting schedule of Mother’s Day parties for my boys, homeschool testing for my daughter, coaching track, and the birth of yet another litter of pet bunnies…when I stopped dead in my tracks. I actually heard myself. My friend, who deeply desires a baby of her own, was nothing but supportive and encouraging to my rants, but I had forgotten. I had forgotten that particular Mother’s Day nine years ago when I woke up feeling hollow because…just days before there had been life in my womb. Even though I had already been blessed with a daughter, it was the loss of this unborn child which defined my holiday.

As mothers were celebrated all around the world, my heart ached in a place that was lonely…longing to hold that baby just once. Mother’s Day felt so…in-my-face. I lost two more babies before being blessed with my sons. That broken place in the depths of my soul never returned to the normalcy I had previously known. I was changed, less naive, and different. You see, there is a piece of me that is forever bruised. It is the tender place from which tears can come without notice…that place that allows me to cry with a woman I don’t know because I understand her longing for a baby of her own.

I looked back into the eyes of my friend and apologized for forgetting the blessing behind my hectic schedule. Her eyes filled with tears and then so did mine. We held each other with that understanding of loss and longing. So today my heart remembers that, although I will be uplifted in celebration on Sunday, there is a darker side to Mother’s Day, one which often gets overlooked, and behind it is a woman who needs a hug.

May 4, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Great books for your Tween daughter…about being a tween.

Next week my oldest turns 11. She is all things first child; rule oriented, orderly, and driven. Over the years her strong will has served her beautifully as she has developed into a compassionate, servant-hearted, and intentional young lady. I adore her.

About 3 months ago we started to notice a few changes in her moods. Because I am homeschooling her this year, I get to experience these swings first hand throughout our days… so I have an invested interest to understand just what is going on inside her head. I was shocked that she felt incredibly comforted when I explained to her that her moods were a result of hormonal changes and were completely normal. Her intellectual mind could handle a physiological explanation much easier than not knowing why she felt so…off.

Because she is quite introverted and loves to read, I knew she’d prefer to fill in the gaps through books. Most of these are from a Biblical perspective but regardless of your spiritual beliefs, I think you’ll find some great insight.

Here is a list of our favorite tween books so far:

Perfectly Unique – by Annie F. Downs The author takes you on a thoughtful, funny and spirit-filled exploration of the way God created you different from every other person in the world, and He did this on purpose! Great perspective addressing body image and each of our unique set of talents. At an age when conformity can be the goal, this perspective can help our daughters build confidence and strengthen their faith through embracing their unique design. My 10 year old loved reading this!

You’re Already Amazing by Holly Gerth – (best suited for moms of tweens or actual teens) We, as moms, need to get our own thinking straight before we can be of any help to them. The author helps you understand and embrace the truth that as a woman, you do not need to do more, be more, and have more—because you are already amazing just the way God created you to be. When my daughter was on a club soccer team significantly above her skill set, principles in this book helped me teach her that she could walk on that field with no fear or apologies. I didn’t need to be nervous either. She didn’t have to be anything more today that she already was. She is Already Amazing! It helped us find that balance of striving to do your absolute best while knowing your identity and worth is not determined by the results.

Graceful – Letting go of your try-hard life by Emily P. Freeman – (I’d recommend this for an older teen or the mother of a tween) – This book is written to the good girl who tries to do everything perfect from sports to schoolwork. It’s also written to the girl who feels like she can’t do anything right. The ultimate message in this book is you don’t have to be perfect. My daughter often strives to be perfect and is discouraged by correction, so this book was a good fit. It is written a little above her comprehension level so we went through it together.

BeTween by Vicki Courtney – My daughter just finished going through this book in small group with her friends. It is a magazine style book filled with articles, games and lists. It’s targeted towards the 8-12 year old reader. The book wisely encourages girls to enjoy being their age rather than succumbing to modern culture’s temptations to grow up too fast. It addresses topics like popularity, friendships, texting, fighting with siblings, and your attitude with your mamma. It’s irresistibly fun and an easy read.

Soul Surfer series by Bethany Hamilton – Have you seen the movie Soul Surfer about a young girl named Bethany Hamilton who had her arm bitten off by a shark while she was surfing? Well, we have…like 30 times! It started a surfing craze in our home. My daughter has read and reread the book and devotionals dozens of times. Bethany speaks teen to teen about overcoming your fears and living out your faith. I ripped out a few pages from the devotional for issues my daughter hasn’t been exposed to yet, but still recommend it.

The Lily Series – by Nancy Rue – (for the younger tween) – We started these because my daughter’s name is Lily and it was just too cool to find something called the Lily series. There are several characters in them who each represent a different type of girl. We were surprised by how applicable these were to everyday decisions. They are short and each book addresses a different topic – “the Uniquely Me book”, “The Body Book”, “The Blurry Rules Book”, “The Walk the Walk Book”.

I’d love to hear any helpful book recommendations you and your child have enjoyed reading. Have a blessed day! alli

10 Ways to make your husband feel loved while traveling

When my husband travels, it’s hard on the entire family. Although I usually enjoy the first day or two of easy dinners and a pile of magazines as my bed companion, the novelty wears off, and we all want daddy back. He used to travel a lot!! I remember having a newborn, and my husband was out of the country for 3 weeks. I felt physically exhausted and assumed he should return refreshed from his “time away”. I acted like his business travel was a mini vacation. I could not have been further from the truth.

When he would return home, he would cling to me. The look in his eyes said it all. The travel schedule was rushed. The hotel room was lonely. The airplanes delayed. The meals quiet. His heart longing for the chaos of our home and warmth of our love. It was at this point, I made an intentional decision to start sending a little of that warmth with him. Here are a few ideas and ways to make your husband remember he’s loved on the road.

Get him a voice activated Alarm Clock – Record a sweet message that he will hear when he wakes up. “Good morning sweetheart. Time to wake up. Have a great day!” My kids would record messages “I love you daddy”. Could you imagine a better way to wake up in a lonely hotel room?
Text him pictures of you and the children at fun activities. We were at a Fall festival in this picture and took 5 minutes to write daddy a note and text it to him. He loved knowing that even admist cotton candy and music, we were thinking of him.
When he calls, DON’T COMPLAIN! I’m not suggesting to pretend everything is perfect, but you can discuss things without whining, nagging, or feeling entitled to a different set of circumstances. If you need to vent when he’s away, call a girlfriend, write in a journal, pray, go for a run.
Call the hotel and order him room service (even just a beer is fun).
Make him laugh… or cry- Hide ridiculous things in his shoes or dobskit. Be funny. Make him miss you. Humor is extremely underrated. You can also write encouraging notes, the ones that make his soul long for you. Talk about your respect and appreciation for him. My son has hidden his very special lovely in the suitcase – if that doesn’t say ‘i love you’, nothing will.
Enter ‘reminders’ or ‘alerts’ into his phone that will pop up throughout his trip.
Comfort food – Stick in some of his favorite power bars or his favorite candy. You can even wrap them for an element of surprise.
Hide a pair of your panties between his boxers – No judgement..
Download a romantic but cool song or playlist onto his phone. Halfway through the trip, tell him about it.
Facetime or Skype – Technology has made eye to eye contact possible. Little kids can actually believe they were with daddy….and I, sometimes just need to see my man.

May 2, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Mother’s Day

Take one picture and send to all the grandmas, favorite aunts, and mamma figures in your life.

mother printable viewer Here are a few Mother’s Day cards and labels in a cute floral pattern. My husband just walked up asked for the name of my blog so he can print a card for me. Humm.

Mother’s Day Lilly Pulitzer card –
Print on card stock, cut, and fold.

Print on cardstock to use as a tag or tape to a toothpick and stick in a muffin. Print on sticker paper to use as a label! Resize for your desired project. Enjoy!