May 16, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

a Jar of Sacrifice

As I watched my children fight over who got the biggest piece of brownie, I wondered what I had done wrong. You see, my children are innately selfish which is compounded by the fact that we live in a culture focused on immediate gratification. Does it ever feel like everything in our society aims at filling our desires quickly? From fast food to Facebook, we do not need to wait or to wonder.

teaching kids to give

My children do not even know true hunger because I make sure to always have snacks readily available. We don’t want them grouchy, right? What would happen though if I taught them to wait on food, to endure hunger pains? I imagine their impulses would die down and an improved self-control develop.

I know a family that allows only one of their children at each visit to get a happy meal at McDonald’s. The other kids get just a sandwich. Sounds unfair, right? The kids don’t mind though and are excited for whoever’s turn it is. They have had practice sacrificing their desires for the sake of another and now it’s natural. They seem to have lost that sense of entitlement that is so common among today’s child.

So lately I am in pursuit of ways to teach my children the beauty in sacrifice, so that they might be able to extend generosity beyond their little worlds of self fulfillment.

One way we are practicing this is through a Jar of Sacrifice. We bought an oddly-shaped sea glass jar from Old Time Pottery. This is the place where not just spare change goes. It is a jar that chore money and birthday money can go. Nobody counts or pressures, it is just our own family vessel to practice giving. There’s a saying “Give until it hurts and then keep giving until it doesn’t”. When my kids do chores now, they don’t think twice about throwing in some or all of that money. They are slowly learning to loosen their grip.When the jar is filled, we will have a family gathering to discuss how we are going to bless others with its contents. They already have ideas brewing. I look forward to figuring out how to get the money out of that tiny hole, and I am certain there will be pride as we total those little sacrifices along the way.

My prayer is that their hearts will take such joy in seeing how these sacrifices have directly blessed others, that they will naturally be generous givers with all that has been entrusted to them, even if a brownie is involved.

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May 16, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Sunday morning clothing battle – don’t I look pretty, God?

(Lily was 5. This means her brothers were 1 and 2.)

Church starts in twenty minutes and the mad rush begins. I have laid out a pretty smocked dress from Lily’s closet. I scramble to feed the baby, fill sippy cups for the diaper bag, and dry my hair. I sense the protest from the other side of the house. The stomping gets closer as I hear the words I knew were coming,

“I am not wearing this dress!”

“Yes sweetheart, you are.”

Why?” she says with pleading.

“Because church is the house of God, and when we go there, we honor Him with our hearts and bodies. Our clothes are a representation of that. Your dress is beautiful and appropriate.” She pauses for a moment and then uttered the words which would change our Sunday mornings forever.

“That’s not why you want me to wear this dress. You want me to look pretty for the other moms! You don’t know what God thinks is beautiful on me!”

Bam! There it is. The truth I did not see. My conviction was instant. I had an image of how I wanted her to look on Sunday morning…in a cute dress with a big bow… for the other moms. I cringe writing that, embarrassed to admit it. She’s 5! Could I really be teaching her that her appearance, however fleeting, was the act of worship, not the heart behind it? Did I think I would be perceived as a better mom if my children looked a certain way? Honestly, maybe I would be. Did I really seek that validation?

My eyes tear up and I apologize…not just for this morning but for all the Sunday mornings that we battled because of my pride. I humbly send her back to her room to choose an outfit that SHE thought honoring and pleasing to the Lord.

That was the last Sunday I ever laid out clothes for her. It took a few weeks to overcome my desire to explain the cowboy boots and mismatched outfits, but I eventually found tremendous confidence in not explaining it….because I knew that there was a little girl who truly felt beautiful to her Maker. Over the years her fashion taste has refined and our Sunday rush more peaceful, but when she comes to me seeking affirmation about her clothing, my question remains the same, “Do you feel it honors the Lord?”

So today, when I see a little girl in an adorable dress, I smile at the sweet vision, partly wishing Lily’s dresses had gotten more wear…and when I see a little girl with cowboy boots and a tutu strutting her stuff at church, my heart melts because I know God is looking down on her with great delight…His beautiful daughter twirling like a country ballerina as her act of worship.

It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. ⁴No, your beauty should come from inside you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That beauty will never disappear. It is worth very much to God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

May 4, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Great books for your Tween daughter…about being a tween.

Next week my oldest turns 11. She is all things first child; rule oriented, orderly, and driven. Over the years her strong will has served her beautifully as she has developed into a compassionate, servant-hearted, and intentional young lady. I adore her.

About 3 months ago we started to notice a few changes in her moods. Because I am homeschooling her this year, I get to experience these swings first hand throughout our days… so I have an invested interest to understand just what is going on inside her head. I was shocked that she felt incredibly comforted when I explained to her that her moods were a result of hormonal changes and were completely normal. Her intellectual mind could handle a physiological explanation much easier than not knowing why she felt so…off.

Because she is quite introverted and loves to read, I knew she’d prefer to fill in the gaps through books. Most of these are from a Biblical perspective but regardless of your spiritual beliefs, I think you’ll find some great insight.

Here is a list of our favorite tween books so far:

Perfectly Unique – by Annie F. Downs The author takes you on a thoughtful, funny and spirit-filled exploration of the way God created you different from every other person in the world, and He did this on purpose! Great perspective addressing body image and each of our unique set of talents. At an age when conformity can be the goal, this perspective can help our daughters build confidence and strengthen their faith through embracing their unique design. My 10 year old loved reading this!

You’re Already Amazing by Holly Gerth – (best suited for moms of tweens or actual teens) We, as moms, need to get our own thinking straight before we can be of any help to them. The author helps you understand and embrace the truth that as a woman, you do not need to do more, be more, and have more—because you are already amazing just the way God created you to be. When my daughter was on a club soccer team significantly above her skill set, principles in this book helped me teach her that she could walk on that field with no fear or apologies. I didn’t need to be nervous either. She didn’t have to be anything more today that she already was. She is Already Amazing! It helped us find that balance of striving to do your absolute best while knowing your identity and worth is not determined by the results.

Graceful – Letting go of your try-hard life by Emily P. Freeman – (I’d recommend this for an older teen or the mother of a tween) – This book is written to the good girl who tries to do everything perfect from sports to schoolwork. It’s also written to the girl who feels like she can’t do anything right. The ultimate message in this book is you don’t have to be perfect. My daughter often strives to be perfect and is discouraged by correction, so this book was a good fit. It is written a little above her comprehension level so we went through it together.

BeTween by Vicki Courtney – My daughter just finished going through this book in small group with her friends. It is a magazine style book filled with articles, games and lists. It’s targeted towards the 8-12 year old reader. The book wisely encourages girls to enjoy being their age rather than succumbing to modern culture’s temptations to grow up too fast. It addresses topics like popularity, friendships, texting, fighting with siblings, and your attitude with your mamma. It’s irresistibly fun and an easy read.

Soul Surfer series by Bethany Hamilton – Have you seen the movie Soul Surfer about a young girl named Bethany Hamilton who had her arm bitten off by a shark while she was surfing? Well, we have…like 30 times! It started a surfing craze in our home. My daughter has read and reread the book and devotionals dozens of times. Bethany speaks teen to teen about overcoming your fears and living out your faith. I ripped out a few pages from the devotional for issues my daughter hasn’t been exposed to yet, but still recommend it.

The Lily Series – by Nancy Rue – (for the younger tween) – We started these because my daughter’s name is Lily and it was just too cool to find something called the Lily series. There are several characters in them who each represent a different type of girl. We were surprised by how applicable these were to everyday decisions. They are short and each book addresses a different topic – “the Uniquely Me book”, “The Body Book”, “The Blurry Rules Book”, “The Walk the Walk Book”.

I’d love to hear any helpful book recommendations you and your child have enjoyed reading. Have a blessed day! alli

April 13, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

“scary people” in the homeless shelter

From time to time, our family will feed the homeless with a local group. It’s a multi-church ministry where a different church is responsible for feeding and serving several hundred meals on their assigned night. They have always been very gracious letting us jump in with whatever church is serving. We have loved our evenings there.

Tonight our hearts were ready. We were all excited. It was going to be the first time my youngest joins us. We walked him through the process as best we could. From the moment we arrived though something was different. Something was off. The 3 men and a guitar were still playing praise music. The donation tables were set up beautifully with clothes and toiletries, even a Lion King DVD. The aroma of chicken and potatoes coming from the kitchen smelled delicious. I introduced myself, explained that I had called earlier in the day to confirm we could help serve tonight, and then introduced my children to this new group of volunteers. The well dressed man was polite.

When the hungry people arrived, we each took a tray in the kitchen. A woman barked at my middle child, “I will not allow you to hold a tray! You will spill it all over the floor.” He explains he has done this before and is really careful. “No!” Hum… We make a new plan. I will carry the tray, my kids can remove the meals and serve them to the people at the tables. A few minutes later we are again reprimanded by a second volunteer who had decided that all tables must be served in a clockwise order. I respectfully smile but think “really lady?” My usually energetic children are abnormally well behaved…too behaved for my taste. I can see them deflating in front of my eyes.

Where is the joy in the room? Isn’t that the point of the evening… to offer a small dose of encouragement to our brothers and sisters who are hungry. I hand each of my kids a tray of their own, bucking the “system” for dessert. After everybody has a sweet treat, we return the extra cookies and cakes to the serving table. A third volunteer now approaches us with deep anger, “You are NOT allowed to give them a second dessert!!” I can feel my fearful childrens’ fingers grip into my legs. My smirk though is undeniable and I’m holding back sarcastic laughter at the irony of the 50 extra uneaten desserts in front of us. I gently respond, “We actually haven’t given anybody a second dessert…yet.” She insists the weak , emaciated man in the yellow jacket had both a cupcake AND a cookie. At this point, I’m over it. I grab my children and we head straight for him. We sit, talk ,and pray with him over his tumor and hospitalized son, and then give him a piece of Key Lime Pie. My son gives him a hug and promises to keep praying for him. There’s now a line of others with their own prayer requests. They just need somebody to ask…somebody to see them. The ten volunteers, with their backs against the wall and nothing left to do, stare at us, not sure what to make of our rebellious interaction with these hungry folks.

During the car ride home, my son says “Those people are scary!” I respond, “Oh, the man in the wheel chair and the lady without any teeth?” “No mom, they were nice. The adults who were serving.”

How often do we get so wrapped up in the order of things and controlling a situation, that we forget why we are there? Tonight, joy was lost, the opportunity for relationship diminished, and the normally energized room, smothered by rules. We get so focused on “how to serve” that we don’t see the people we are serving. I do it too. I was in the grocery store last week trying to check out. I was talking on my phone, stopping my kids from sneaking bubble gum into our basket, and trying to swipe my credit card. As we left, I realized I forgot my sunglasses and turned right back around….but I had no idea who had just checked me out. I had never made eye contact. I never saw him.

Sometimes it takes seeing something in other people to realize what you don’t like in yourself. It may be packaged differently, but I too am guilty. In the demands of my day, I don’t always see the people in front of me…including my children. Hoping tonight serves as a reminder to open my eyes to the eyes looking at me.

April 10, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World

I am re-posting “Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World” from a blog called We are that family. Thought it was a great perspective.

March 27, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

The stinky feet of Passover

Today is the beginning of Passover. Last night our family read the Old Testament story about when God “passed over” the blood-stained homes of the Jews. A lamb had been the provision of escape for His chosen people. We then switch to the New Testament story in which Jesus celebrates Passover with His Disciples. We use the Jesus Storybook Bible, a gift from my sister, which is hands down my favorite children’s Bible. Here is an excerpt that had my children rolling with laughter in a not so funny story:

“Jesus and his friends were having the Passover meal together in an upstairs room. But Jesus’ friends were arguing. What about? They were arguing about stinky feet. Stinky feet? Yes, that’s right. Stinky feet. (Now the thing about feet back then was the people didn’t wear shoes. They only wore sandals, which might not sound unusual except that the streets were dirty – and I don’t mean just dusty dirty – I mean really stinky dirty. With all the cows and horses everywhere, you can imagine the stuff on the street that ended up on their feet!)”

Why did Jesus voluntarily do such a chore? Do you think He needed to be reminded? We talk about what it means when Peter asks Jesus to not just wash his feet but “ALL of me.” We pray together and ask God how he wants us to respond to this story…which leads us to today’s Holy Week activity.

Lily told her brothers about an activity we had done on our missions trip to Malawi. We had washed the feet of the African ministry leaders who tirelessly serve those in the villages. We were there for 10 days but these faithful servants spent EVERY day feeding and ministering to the needs of the poor. They are truly the hands and feet of Jesus, and we were humbled with tears for the privilege of “washing their feet”.

My children select a beloved teacher who has touched each of our lives in a special way. They get a bowl and some towels. Campbell comes to me with a handful of random travel-sized shower gels, “Which of these is the most expensive?” We study them and are certain by the smell we had found the most precious. Ding Dong. Hugs are given. Chairs and towels are laid out. Hot water is added to the bowl. They wash. They dry. They lotion. I’m convicted for all the stinky feet I didn’t want to wash; for the times I grumbled allowing another to compensate for my selfishness. Not just my feet Lord, ALL of me.

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“Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now.” ~Saint Teresa of Avila

click the cross for our other Holy Week activities.

March 15, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Peter Rabbit Play

A first grade play is one of the great joys in life. Today my 7 year old, Campbell, was in the Peter Rabbit play. He was, brace yourself, Onion #2. My highlight of the play was not the adorably painted rabbit faces, the garden of 1st grade vegetables, or even the live bunny Beatrice Potter carried around. My joy came in the friendship between the 2 onions. They say onions can make you cry, and this pair of onions succeeded.

When the lights when down and start of the play was imminent, Onion #1 was overcome with anxiety. His mom and I quickly prayed his heart would be flooded with peace and that he would recover. Onion #2, who is also prone to anxiety over sounds, lights, and all things overstimulating, quietly whispered to Onion #1. We all waited with breathless anticipation. What was going to happen to the little onions in the garden patch.

The play began, and without a pause Onion #1’s tear stained eyes cleared as the corners of his mouth began to turn up. I whisper to his mom, “I think he’s smiling.” What had changed? He proceeded to sing louder and motion larger than any of the animals and vegetables on stage. As the children recited their lines, Onion #1’s mom points out that my Onion #2 is saying both sets of lines. After the play, I asked just what was whispered between the 2 onions and teacher in those crucial moments when the lights when down. Onion #2 had simply agreed to take his lines and reassured him with “That’s ok, I get scared too sometimes” . Onion #2 understood the burden of anxiety. His own life experience had taken him to a place where he could relate. He loved this friend and reacted accordingly.

There are times as adults when we are overcome with the pressures of a situation. We need a little relief to be able to see the hope that lay ahead. We need room to recover. How thankful I am for the friends in my life who have taken just a little bit off of my plate, so that I could sing louder and motion larger in the rest of my play. May our hearts be sensitive enough to see when we can offer up that same hope to those in our garden patch.

The Wrap Party

I had to post a picture of this adorable Peter Rabbit cake. Each of the children’s names is written on the side of the cake. I will find out the name of the woman who made it as I know she makes cakes for all occasions.

My kids love any excuse to make cake pops. We made a batch by combining Key Lime cake with vanilla icing dipped in Orange colored chocolate. Peter Rabbit’s Carrot garden was complete. Here’s a picture I took at the last-minute.