May 10, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

the Darker Side of Mother’s Day

photo by askinyourface.com

I was halfway through venting to a girlfriend today about my exhausting schedule of Mother’s Day parties for my boys, home-school testing for my daughter, coaching track, and the birth of yet another litter of pet bunnies…when I stopped dead in my tracks. I actually heard myself. My friend, who deeply desires a baby of her own, was nothing but supportive and encouraging to my rants, but I had forgotten. I had forgotten that particular Mother’s Day nine years ago when I woke up feeling hollow because…just days before there had been life in my womb. Even though I had already been blessed with a daughter, it was the loss of this unborn child which defined my holiday.

As mothers were celebrated all around the world, my heart ached in a place that was lonely…longing to hold that baby just once. Mother’s Day felt so…in-my-face. I lost two more babies before being blessed with my sons. That broken place in the depths of my soul never returned to the normalcy I had previously known. I was changed, less naive, and different. You see, there is a piece of me that is forever bruised. It is the tender place from which tears can come without notice…that place that allows me to cry with a woman I don’t know because I understand her longing for a baby of her own.

I looked back into the eyes of my friend and apologized for forgetting the blessing behind my hectic schedule. Her eyes filled with tears and then so did mine. We held each other with that understanding of loss and longing. So today my heart remembers that, although I will be uplifted in celebration on Sunday, there is a darker side to Mother’s Day, one which often gets overlooked, and behind it is a woman who needs a hug.

♥ Allison

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May 4, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Great books for your Tween daughter…about being a tween.

Help your tween/ teen navigate through those ackward years of insecurity and change. My oldest is 12. She is all things first child; rule oriented, orderly, and driven. Over the years her strong will has served her beautifully as she has developed into a compassionate, servant-hearted, and intentional young lady. I adore her.

About 3 months ago we started to notice a few changes in her moods. Because I am homeschooling her this year, I get to experience these swings first hand throughout our days… so I have a vested interest to understand just what is going on inside her head. I was shocked that she felt incredibly comforted when I explained to her that her moods were a result of hormonal changes and were completely normal. Her intellectual mind could handle a physiological explanation much easier than not knowing why she felt so…off.

Because she is quite introverted and loves to read, I knew she’d prefer to fill in the gaps through books. Most of these are from a Biblical perspective but regardless of your spiritual beliefs, I think you’ll find some great insight.

Here is a list of our favorite tween books and affiliate links for your convenience and mine.

10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know – by Kari Kampakis This book is written in a big sister format to your daughter. My daughter has read through it 3 times and gone through it with a small group of friends. It has questions at the end of each chapter. It addresses topics like popularity, their unique design, friendships, and passions. You can read my full review of it here. We loved this book.

Perfectly Unique – by Annie F. Downs The author takes you on a thoughtful, funny and spirit-filled exploration of the way God created you different from every other person in the world, and He did this on purpose! Great perspective addressing body image and each of our unique set of talents. At an age when conformity can be the goal, this perspective can help our daughters build confidence and strengthen their faith through embracing their unique design. My 12 year old loved reading this!

You’re Already Amazing by Holly Gerth – (best suited for moms of tweens or actual teens) We, as moms, need to get our own thinking straight before we can be of any help to them. The author helps you understand and embrace the truth that as a woman, you do not need to do more, be more, and have more—because you are already amazing just the way God created you to be. When my daughter was on a club soccer team significantly above her skill set, principles in this book helped me teach her that she could walk on that field with no fear or apologies. I didn’t need to be nervous either. She didn’t have to be anything more today that she already was. She is Already Amazing! It helped us find that balance of striving to do your absolute best while knowing your identity and worth is not determined by the results.

Graceful – Letting go of your try-hard life by Emily P. Freeman – (I’d recommend this for an older teen or the mother of a tween) – This book is written to the good girl who tries to do everything perfect from sports to schoolwork. It’s also written to the girl who feels like she can’t do anything right. The ultimate message in this book is you don’t have to be perfect. My daughter often strives to be perfect and is discouraged by correction, so this book was a good fit. It is written a little above her comprehension level so we went through it together.

BeTween by Vicki Courtney – My daughter just finished going through this book in small group with her friends. It is a magazine style book filled with articles, games and lists. It’s targeted towards the 8-12 year old reader. The book wisely encourages girls to enjoy being their age rather than succumbing to modern culture’s temptations to grow up too fast. It addresses topics like popularity, friendships, texting, fighting with siblings, and your attitude with your mamma. It’s irresistibly fun and an easy read.

Soul Surfer series by Bethany Hamilton – Have you seen the movie Soul Surfer about a young girl named Bethany Hamilton who had her arm bitten off by a shark while she was surfing? Well, we have…like 30 times! It started a surfing craze in our home. My daughter has read and reread the book and devotionals dozens of times. Bethany speaks teen to teen about overcoming your fears and living out your faith. I ripped out a few pages from the devotional for issues my daughter hasn’t been exposed to yet, but still recommend it.

The Lily Series – by Nancy Rue – (for the younger tween) – We started these because my daughter’s name is Lily and it was just too cool to find something called the Lily series. There are several characters in them who each represent a different type of girl. We were surprised by how applicable these were to everyday decisions. They are short and each book addresses a different topic – “the Uniquely Me book”, “The Body Book”, “The Blurry Rules Book”, “The Walk the Walk Book”

*** NEW*** More books added.

5 Conversations you Must have with your Daughter by Vicky Courtney – From the cradle to college, this book walks you through how to tell your daughters the truth about life before they believe the culture’s lies.

6 Ways to Keep the Little in your Girl: Guiding your daughter from her Tween to her Teens Years By Danna Gresh Studies show that the foundation for an emotionally healthy teen girl is built between the ages of 8-12 and that a good relationship with mom is one of the most important factors. So when the world wants girls to grow up too fast, how does a mother help her young daughter navigate the stormy waters of boy-craziness, modesty and body image, media, Internet safety, and more?

Caring and Keeping of You: the body book for younger girls(American Girl) and now a Volume 2 The Body book for Older Girls. Best Selling books from American Girl. The first volume is for girls 8 and up and answers questions about your changing body, from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to bras, periods to pimples, and everything in between. Once a comfort level is established, Volume 2 goes into greater details on periods and their changing body as well as addresses topics on peer pressure and social issues.

I’d love to hear any helpful book recommendations you and your child have enjoyed reading.

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10 Ways to make your husband feel loved while traveling

When my husband travels, it’s hard on the entire family. Although I usually enjoy the first day or two of easy dinners and a pile of magazines as my bed companion, the novelty wears off, and we all want daddy back. He used to travel a lot!! I remember having a newborn, and my husband was out of the country for 3 weeks. I felt physically exhausted and assumed he should return refreshed from his “time away”. I acted like his business travel was a mini vacation. I could not have been further from the truth.

When he would return home, he would cling to me. The look in his eyes said it all. The travel schedule was rushed. The hotel room was lonely. The airplanes delayed. The meals quiet. His heart longing for the chaos of our home and warmth of our love. It was at this point, I made an intentional decision to start sending a little of that warmth with him. Here are a few ideas and ways to make your husband remember he’s loved on the road.

Get him a voice activated Alarm Clock – Record a sweet message that he will hear when he wakes up. “Good morning sweetheart. Time to wake up. Have a great day!” My kids would record messages “I love you daddy”. Could you imagine a better way to wake up in a lonely hotel room?
Text him pictures of you and the children at fun activities. We were at a Fall festival in this picture and took 5 minutes to write daddy a note and text it to him. He loved knowing that even admist cotton candy and music, we were thinking of him.
When he calls, DON’T COMPLAIN! I’m not suggesting to pretend everything is perfect, but you can discuss things without whining, nagging, or feeling entitled to a different set of circumstances. If you need to vent when he’s away, call a girlfriend, write in a journal, pray, go for a run.
Call the hotel and order him room service (even just a beer is fun).
Make him laugh… or cry- Hide ridiculous things in his shoes or dobskit. Be funny. Make him miss you. Humor is extremely underrated. You can also write encouraging notes, the ones that communicate your respect and appreciation for him. My son has even hidden his very special lovely in the suitcase – if that doesn’t say ‘i love you’, nothing will.
Enter ‘reminders’ or ‘alerts’ into his phone that will pop up throughout his trip.
Comfort food – Stick in some of his favorite power bars or his favorite candy. You can even wrap them for an element of surprise.
Hide a pair of your panties between his boxers – No judgement..
Download a romantic but cool song or playlist onto his phone. Halfway through the trip, tell him about it.
Facetime or Skype – Technology has made eye to eye contact possible. Little kids can actually believe they were with daddy….and I, sometimes just need to see my man.