May 4, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Great books for your Tween daughter…about being a tween.

Help your tween/ teen navigate through those ackward years of insecurity and change. My oldest is 12. She is all things first child; rule oriented, orderly, and driven. Over the years her strong will has served her beautifully as she has developed into a compassionate, servant-hearted, and intentional young lady. I adore her.

About 3 months ago we started to notice a few changes in her moods. Because I am homeschooling her this year, I get to experience these swings first hand throughout our days… so I have a vested interest to understand just what is going on inside her head. I was shocked that she felt incredibly comforted when I explained to her that her moods were a result of hormonal changes and were completely normal. Her intellectual mind could handle a physiological explanation much easier than not knowing why she felt so…off.

Because she is quite introverted and loves to read, I knew she’d prefer to fill in the gaps through books. Most of these are from a Biblical perspective but regardless of your spiritual beliefs, I think you’ll find some great insight.

Here is a list of our favorite tween books and affiliate links for your convenience and mine.

10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know – by Kari Kampakis This book is written in a big sister format to your daughter. My daughter has read through it 3 times and gone through it with a small group of friends. It has questions at the end of each chapter. It addresses topics like popularity, their unique design, friendships, and passions. You can read my full review of it here. We loved this book.

Perfectly Unique – by Annie F. Downs The author takes you on a thoughtful, funny and spirit-filled exploration of the way God created you different from every other person in the world, and He did this on purpose! Great perspective addressing body image and each of our unique set of talents. At an age when conformity can be the goal, this perspective can help our daughters build confidence and strengthen their faith through embracing their unique design. My 12 year old loved reading this!

You’re Already Amazing by Holly Gerth – (best suited for moms of tweens or actual teens) We, as moms, need to get our own thinking straight before we can be of any help to them. The author helps you understand and embrace the truth that as a woman, you do not need to do more, be more, and have more—because you are already amazing just the way God created you to be. When my daughter was on a club soccer team significantly above her skill set, principles in this book helped me teach her that she could walk on that field with no fear or apologies. I didn’t need to be nervous either. She didn’t have to be anything more today that she already was. She is Already Amazing! It helped us find that balance of striving to do your absolute best while knowing your identity and worth is not determined by the results.

Graceful – Letting go of your try-hard life by Emily P. Freeman – (I’d recommend this for an older teen or the mother of a tween) – This book is written to the good girl who tries to do everything perfect from sports to schoolwork. It’s also written to the girl who feels like she can’t do anything right. The ultimate message in this book is you don’t have to be perfect. My daughter often strives to be perfect and is discouraged by correction, so this book was a good fit. It is written a little above her comprehension level so we went through it together.

BeTween by Vicki Courtney – My daughter just finished going through this book in small group with her friends. It is a magazine style book filled with articles, games and lists. It’s targeted towards the 8-12 year old reader. The book wisely encourages girls to enjoy being their age rather than succumbing to modern culture’s temptations to grow up too fast. It addresses topics like popularity, friendships, texting, fighting with siblings, and your attitude with your mamma. It’s irresistibly fun and an easy read.

Soul Surfer series by Bethany Hamilton – Have you seen the movie Soul Surfer about a young girl named Bethany Hamilton who had her arm bitten off by a shark while she was surfing? Well, we have…like 30 times! It started a surfing craze in our home. My daughter has read and reread the book and devotionals dozens of times. Bethany speaks teen to teen about overcoming your fears and living out your faith. I ripped out a few pages from the devotional for issues my daughter hasn’t been exposed to yet, but still recommend it.

The Lily Series – by Nancy Rue – (for the younger tween) – We started these because my daughter’s name is Lily and it was just too cool to find something called the Lily series. There are several characters in them who each represent a different type of girl. We were surprised by how applicable these were to everyday decisions. They are short and each book addresses a different topic – “the Uniquely Me book”, “The Body Book”, “The Blurry Rules Book”, “The Walk the Walk Book”

*** NEW*** More books added.

5 Conversations you Must have with your Daughter by Vicky Courtney – From the cradle to college, this book walks you through how to tell your daughters the truth about life before they believe the culture’s lies.

6 Ways to Keep the Little in your Girl: Guiding your daughter from her Tween to her Teens Years By Danna Gresh Studies show that the foundation for an emotionally healthy teen girl is built between the ages of 8-12 and that a good relationship with mom is one of the most important factors. So when the world wants girls to grow up too fast, how does a mother help her young daughter navigate the stormy waters of boy-craziness, modesty and body image, media, Internet safety, and more?

Caring and Keeping of You: the body book for younger girls(American Girl) and now a Volume 2 The Body book for Older Girls. Best Selling books from American Girl. The first volume is for girls 8 and up and answers questions about your changing body, from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to bras, periods to pimples, and everything in between. Once a comfort level is established, Volume 2 goes into greater details on periods and their changing body as well as addresses topics on peer pressure and social issues.

I’d love to hear any helpful book recommendations you and your child have enjoyed reading.

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10 Ways to make your husband feel loved while traveling

When my husband travels, it’s hard on the entire family. Although I usually enjoy the first day or two of easy dinners and a pile of magazines as my bed companion, the novelty wears off, and we all want daddy back. He used to travel a lot!! I remember having a newborn, and my husband was out of the country for 3 weeks. I felt physically exhausted and assumed he should return refreshed from his “time away”. I acted like his business travel was a mini vacation. I could not have been further from the truth.

When he would return home, he would cling to me. The look in his eyes said it all. The travel schedule was rushed. The hotel room was lonely. The airplanes delayed. The meals quiet. His heart longing for the chaos of our home and warmth of our love. It was at this point, I made an intentional decision to start sending a little of that warmth with him. Here are a few ideas and ways to make your husband remember he’s loved on the road.

Get him a voice activated Alarm Clock – Record a sweet message that he will hear when he wakes up. “Good morning sweetheart. Time to wake up. Have a great day!” My kids would record messages “I love you daddy”. Could you imagine a better way to wake up in a lonely hotel room?
Text him pictures of you and the children at fun activities. We were at a Fall festival in this picture and took 5 minutes to write daddy a note and text it to him. He loved knowing that even admist cotton candy and music, we were thinking of him.
When he calls, DON’T COMPLAIN! I’m not suggesting to pretend everything is perfect, but you can discuss things without whining, nagging, or feeling entitled to a different set of circumstances. If you need to vent when he’s away, call a girlfriend, write in a journal, pray, go for a run.
Call the hotel and order him room service (even just a beer is fun).
Make him laugh… or cry- Hide ridiculous things in his shoes or dobskit. Be funny. Make him miss you. Humor is extremely underrated. You can also write encouraging notes, the ones that communicate your respect and appreciation for him. My son has even hidden his very special lovely in the suitcase – if that doesn’t say ‘i love you’, nothing will.
Enter ‘reminders’ or ‘alerts’ into his phone that will pop up throughout his trip.
Comfort food – Stick in some of his favorite power bars or his favorite candy. You can even wrap them for an element of surprise.
Hide a pair of your panties between his boxers – No judgement..
Download a romantic but cool song or playlist onto his phone. Halfway through the trip, tell him about it.
Facetime or Skype – Technology has made eye to eye contact possible. Little kids can actually believe they were with daddy….and I, sometimes just need to see my man.

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April 13, 2013 by Allison Hendrix

Do you see the people you serve?

From time to time, our family will feed the homeless with a local group. It’s a multi-church ministry where a different church is responsible for feeding and serving several hundred meals on their assigned night. They have always been very gracious letting us jump in with whatever church is serving. We have loved our evenings there.

Tonight our hearts were ready. We were all excited. It was going to be the first time my youngest joins us.

We walked him through the process as best we could. From the moment we arrived though something was different. Something was off. The 3 men and a guitar were still playing praise music. The donation tables were set up beautifully with clothes and toiletries, even a Lion King DVD. The aroma of chicken and potatoes coming from the kitchen smelled delicious. I introduced myself, explained that I had called earlier in the day to confirm we could help serve tonight, and then introduced my children to this new group of volunteers. The well dressed man was polite.

How to Fight Selfishness in our Children - when we live in a Self-Centered Culture. Why do our kids fight? What is the heart issue behind it? - the House of Hendrix

When the hungry people arrived, we each took a tray in the kitchen. A woman barked at my middle child, “I will not allow you to hold a tray! You will spill it all over the floor.” He explains he has done this before and is really careful. “No!” Hum… We make a new plan. I will carry the tray, my kids can remove the meals and serve them to the people at the tables. A few minutes later we are again reprimanded by a second volunteer who had decided that all tables must be served in a clockwise order. I respectfully smile but think “really lady?” My usually energetic children are abnormally well behaved…too behaved for my taste. I can see them deflating in front of my eyes.

Where is the joy in the room?

Isn’t that the point of the evening… to offer a small dose of encouragement to our brothers and sisters who are hungry. I hand each of my kids a tray of their own, bucking the “system” for dessert. After everybody has a sweet treat, we return the extra cookies and cakes to the serving table. A third volunteer now approaches us with deep anger, “You are NOT allowed to give them a second dessert!!” I can feel my fearful childrens’ fingers grip into my legs. My smirk though is undeniable and I’m holding back sarcastic laughter at the irony of the 50 extra uneaten desserts in front of us. I gently respond, “We actually haven’t given anybody a second dessert…yet.” She insists the weak , emaciated man in the yellow jacket had both a cupcake AND a cookie. At this point, I’m over it. I grab my children and we head straight for him. We sit, talk ,and pray with him over his tumor and hospitalized son, and then give him a piece of Key Lime Pie. Yup, that’s 3. My son gives him a hug and promises to keep praying for him.

There’s now a line of others with their own prayer requests. They just need somebody to ask…somebody to see them. The ten volunteers, with their backs against the wall and nothing left to do, stare at us, not sure what to make of our rebellious interaction with these hungry folks.

During the car ride home, my son says “Those people are scary!” I respond, “Oh, the man in the wheel chair and the lady without any teeth?” “No mom, they were nice. The adults who were serving.”

How often do we get so wrapped up in the order of things and controlling a situation, that we forget why we are there? Tonight, joy was lost, the opportunity for relationship diminished, and the normally energized room, smothered by rules. We get so focused on “how to serve” that we don’t see the people we are serving. I do it too. I was in the grocery store last week trying to check out. I was talking on my phone, stopping my kids from sneaking bubble gum into our basket, and trying to swipe my credit card. As we left, I realized I forgot my sunglasses and turned right back around….but I had no idea who had just checked me out. I had never made eye contact. I never saw him.

Sometimes it takes seeing something in other people to realize what you don’t like in yourself. It may be packaged differently, but I too am guilty. In the demands of my day, I don’t always see the people in front of me…including my children. Hoping tonight serves as a reminder to open my eyes to the eyes looking at me.

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