Lessons I learned when you turned 100

  1. Journaling is an art that should never die. It provides your legacy with an honest glimpse into your soul.
  2. Eating healthy and exercising do not dictate a long life, just as smoking and years of sunbathing do not mean it will be short. 
  3. Even when our minds have forgotten the faces of our loved ones, the site of a child still brings joy to our eyes.
  4. A woman is never too old for nail polish.
  5. I should have asked more questions.

Thelma,

When I met you, I misjudged you. I saw an elderly woman with a strong personality. I saw a woman who smoked and drove a car at 90 years old. I knew you loved cats and feeding peacocks, but I didn’t push beyond that. Maybe we, as a younger generation, are so consumed with ourselves, we have forgotten the legacy from which we came. I did not understand the courage and perseverance behind your choices…because I never really thought about your choices. I failed to see the woman who had lived an extraordinary life.

I just didn’t know until that day we found your boxes of journals, love letters, and newspaper clippings the passions of your heart. You traveled the world. You were a writer. A political activist. An artist. A lover. You were a passionate reader. You rocked a bikini. You were one of “The 3 Drips”, a name referring to your proclivity to being wet at the beach. I am sorry I didn’t know. You were beautiful. You are beautiful!lessons I learned when you turned 100

I wish you could have told me your stories while your mind could still remember. I would have ask you about the love letters and the pro baseball player in California. We would talk about being a delegate in the Nixon administration and visiting the troops in Europe when people didn’t just fly to Europe. Did you take a boat? I want to know what is was like being a single mother at a time when that was frowned upon. I would ask why you thought the church had repeatedly failed you. You walked boldly and your perspective is unique. You made tough choices and great sacrifices. Would you change any of it?

Your life took a major turn when you settled down to be a single mother. You became a librarian. You also smiled less in photographs. I don’t know why you lost your some of your sparkle but if it’s because you gave up a life of wanderlust and freedoms to raise your daughter, I appreciate that sacrifice.

You raised a daughter who knows how to love. I believe love is learned, modeled for us. You instilled this in her. She turned out great and I know this because I married her son. He knows how to love a woman, be a hands on father, and lead a family. Thank you Thelma for the choices you made. So when I asked you earlier if you would change any of it, I hope you say no.

Love from the girl who now paints your fingernails when she visits,

alli

(I wrote this last week, just before grandma passed on Saturday – in loving memory of her)

Lessons I learned when you turned 100lessons I learned when you turned 100

printable “Interview Questions for my Grandparents”

Grandparent Interview Questions | Do your children know the life stories of their grandparents? Let this printable and post encourage you to ask [the House of Hendrix}

Grandparent Interview Questions | Do your children know the life stories of their grandparents? Let this printable encourage you to ask.

Grandparent Interview Questions | Do your children know the life stories of their grandparents? Let this printable and post encourage you to ask [the House of Hendrix}

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the Darker Side of Mother’s Day

The dark side of Mothers Day

photo by askinyourface.com

I was halfway through venting to a girlfriend today about my exhausting schedule of Mother’s Day parties for my boys, home-school testing for my daughter, coaching track, and the birth of yet another litter of pet bunnies…when I stopped dead in my tracks. I actually heard myself. My friend, who deeply desires a baby of her own, was nothing but supportive and encouraging to my rants, but I had forgotten. I had forgotten that particular Mother’s Day nine years ago when I woke up feeling hollow because…just days before there had been life in my womb. Even though I had already been blessed with a daughter, it was the loss of this unborn child which defined my holiday.

As mothers were celebrated all around the world, my heart ached in a place that was lonely…longing to hold that baby just once. Mother’s Day felt so…in-my-face. I lost two more babies before being blessed with my sons. That broken place in the depths of my soul never returned to the normalcy I had previously known. I was changed, less naive, and different. You see, there is a piece of me that is forever bruised. It is the tender place from which tears can come without notice…that place that allows me to cry with a woman I don’t know because I understand her longing for a baby of her own.

I looked back into the eyes of my friend and apologized for forgetting the blessing behind my hectic schedule. Her eyes filled with tears and then so did mine. We held each other with that understanding of loss and longing. So today my heart remembers that, although I will be uplifted in celebration on Sunday, there is a darker side to Mother’s Day, one which often gets overlooked, and behind it is a woman who needs a hug.

Allison

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Ways to help a grieving family

DSC_0835 - Version 2Have you ever been so overcome with the grief a family is enduring, that you are frozen? Is there anything you could possibly do or say to alleviate their pain?  This link from the blogspot An Inch of Gray is written by a woman who lost her son while he was playing in the rain with his sister. Her story will have you in tears.  Her list is compiled of the many heartfelt ways her family was touched during their grief. I find them insightful and powerful knowing the vulnerability from which they came.  Please enjoy this glimpse into her heart as much as I did.

click here for What you can do to help a grieving family

click here for Her story