- You have rules like “No peeing on your brother in the bath tub.”
- You find a matchbox car when you reach into the bag of pita chips.
- You distract your neighbor in conversation, so she doesn’t see your son peeing in her bushes
- The smell of sweaty necks and stinky feet is oddly endearing.
- You have to swing by Chick Fil A for a snack on the way home from dinner.
- You’ve actually spoken the words “New rule: you are not allowed to stick your pinky into the electric pencil sharpener”.
- You have way too much fun watching your kids play with a whoopie cushion.
- Whenever you sit on the potty, your tush gets wet.
- Shooting squirrels with a nerf gun is an acceptable pastime.
- You suggest Super Mario as a name for the pet bunny.
- You tell a babysitter they read better when they are upside down.
- The noise in the car is louder than your own thoughts.
- When the house is perfectly quiet, you know something big is wrong.
- You don’t ask about the bloody nose and scraped up knees when your son shows you his new trick on the scooter.
- Laying on the floor is never relaxing because there is always fear you are about to be jumped upon. “Incoming!”
- Your friends with just girls stare at you all with their mouths hanging open.
- You find his reference to “the Force” in Star Wars a brilliant parallel to the power of God.
- You don’t scream when your 4-year-old proudly shows you the Bb’s he drew…with the back of a hammer on your car door.
- When you meet a little boy, you stick out your hand…for a high 5.
- You have both a Lego and Star Wars font saved on your computer.
- You can’t imagine the day he falls in love with another woman.
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