Do you see the people you serve?

How often do we so distracted by "getting things done" that we forget to see the people we are serving? We miss the point. Read this story about just what we need to watch out for?From time to time, our family will feed the homeless with a local group. It’s a multi-church ministry where a different church is responsible for feeding and serving several hundred meals on their assigned night. They have always been very gracious letting us jump in with whatever church is serving. We have loved our evenings there.

Tonight our hearts were ready. We were all excited. It was going to be the first time my youngest joins us.

We walked him through the process as best we could. From the moment we arrived though something was different. Something was off. The 3 men and a guitar were still playing praise music. The donation tables were set up beautifully with clothes and toiletries, even a Lion King DVD. The aroma of chicken and potatoes coming from the kitchen smelled delicious. I introduced myself, explained that I had called earlier in the day to confirm we could help serve tonight, and then introduced my children to this new group of volunteers. The well dressed man was polite.

How to Fight Selfishness in our Children - when we live in a Self-Centered Culture. Why do our kids fight? What is the heart issue behind it? - the House of Hendrix

When the hungry people arrived, we each took a tray in the kitchen. A woman barked at my middle child, “I will not allow you to hold a tray! You will spill it all over the floor.” He explains he has done this before and is really careful. “No!” Hum… We make a new plan. I will carry the tray, my kids can remove the meals and serve them to the people at the tables. A few minutes later we are again reprimanded by a second volunteer who had decided that all tables must be served in a clockwise order. I respectfully smile but think “really lady?” My usually energetic children are abnormally well behaved…too behaved for my taste. I can see them deflating in front of my eyes.

Where is the joy in the room?

Isn’t that the point of the evening… to offer a small dose of encouragement to our brothers and sisters who are hungry. I hand each of my kids a tray of their own, bucking the “system” for dessert. After everybody has a sweet treat, we return the extra cookies and cakes to the serving table. A third volunteer now approaches us with deep anger, “You are NOT allowed to give them a second dessert!!” I can feel my fearful childrens’ fingers grip into my legs. My smirk though is undeniable and I’m holding back sarcastic laughter at the irony of the 50 extra uneaten desserts in front of us. I gently respond, “We actually haven’t given anybody a second dessert…yet.” She insists the weak , emaciated man in the yellow jacket had both a cupcake AND a cookie. IMG_2887At this point, I’m over it. I grab my children and we head straight for him. We sit, talk ,and pray with him over his tumor and hospitalized son, and then give him a piece of Key Lime Pie. Yup, that’s 3. My son gives him a hug and promises to keep praying for him.

There’s now a line of others with their own prayer requests. They just need somebody to ask…somebody to see them. The ten volunteers, with their backs against the wall and nothing left to do, stare at us, not sure what to make of our rebellious interaction with these hungry folks.

During the car ride home, my son says “Those people are scary!” I respond, “Oh, the man in the wheel chair and the lady without any teeth?” “No mom, they were nice. The adults who were serving.”

How often do we get so wrapped up in the order of things and controlling a situation, that we forget why we are there? Tonight, joy was lost, the opportunity for relationship diminished, and the normally energized room, smothered by rules. We get so focused on “how to serve” that we don’t see the people we are serving. I do it too. I was in the grocery store last week trying to check out. I was talking on my phone, stopping my kids from sneaking bubble gum into our basket, and trying to swipe my credit card. As we left, I realized I forgot my sunglasses and turned right back around….but I had no idea who had just checked me out. I had never made eye contact. I never saw him.

Sometimes it takes seeing something in other people to realize what you don’t like in yourself. It may be packaged differently, but I too am guilty. In the demands of my day, I don’t always see the people in front of me…including my children. Hoping tonight serves as a reminder to open my eyes to the eyes looking at me.

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20 ways to fill your child’s love tank on their birthday

It only happens once a year,How to display affilaite links so why not CELEBRATE! In my experience, it is rarely the gifts my children remember. It is the feeling of excitement when they get out of bed, the element of surprise throughout their day, and the enthusiasm surrounding them. This week, my baby turned 6. We each need two hands to share our age and I’m not sad at all; I’m thrilled.

With 3 kids, I’ve accumulated a variety of birthday ideas with the hopes of filling my children’s love tank on their birthday. I think we should pool our ideas, borrow freely, and be inspired to make those we love feel special. Isn’t that our goal? I slightly cringe when I see a mom relishing her recent DIY project while another looks on, feeling defeated by her sense of inferiority. I tap into my sister’s bag of tricks all the time when I am just not feeling it. So, here’s what’s in my birthday bag this week:20 Ways to fill your child's Love Tank on their Birthday [the House of Hendrix}

  1. Build the excitement with a COUNTDOWN. There are many ways to do this. This week we counted down with a chalkboard.2o ways to fill your child's love tank on their birthday
  2. Decorate the Bathroom Mirror. Use a window marker, dry-erase marker, or lipstick. Balloons, streamers, it’s all good.The energy I used to spend on big birthday parties is now spent on one simple thing...making my child feel extremely loved and special on their birthday. Here are some unique ways we've done that. the House of Hendrix
  3. Window Marker your car with “Honk! It’s Lily’s 10th birthday!” This has delighted my children for years. With every honk, we all cackle with joy. (You can buy them at here for a few dollars).20 Ways to fill your child's Love Tank on their Birthday [the House of Hendrix}
  4. While they are sleeping, decorate their room with streamers and balloons. Even just the doorway makes a big effect

    20 ways to fill your child's love tank on their birthday

    photo by Sidetracked Mom

  5. Candles in their breakfast, why not?

    candle in pancakes - 20 ways to fill your child's love tank on their birthday

    photo by lilmissbossy

  6. Put Water Balloons in their bath

    water balloons in bathtub -20 ways to fill your child's love tank on their birthday

    photo by Learning4Kids

  7. Use the special “Celebration Plate”. We made one years ago at a painted pottery place. We’ve used it on birthdays, potty training milestones, soccer goals, and when loved ones visit.celebration plate -20 ways to fill your child's love tank on their birthday
  8. Declare it a Screen-free Day for the parents. If the child is awake, put your cell phones down and turn off the tv/computer. Be present, not distracted.
  9. Wrap each food item in their lunchbox. Throw in a balloon if it will fit. Pure delight.decorate the lunchbox - 20 ways to fill your child's love tank on their birthday
  10. Measure them. We have a very messy wall with dates, ages, and heights of our children, nieces and nephews, and neighborhood children. Kids loved to be measured!
  11. Retell their birth story. Even get their baby book out. My baby books stopped after the 1st child, but they delight in hearing about their first cry in the delivery room. My mother still calls me at the exact hour I was born with “Oh, I feel a contraction. Ouch. I think you’re coming today Allison.” I love it.
  12. Make or buy them a special shirt or socks with their new age on it.IMG_6434Palmer's 5DSC_0827DSC_0952

    Cutest socks in town!!! Perfect gift

    Get a pair of socks that say, “I AM SPECIAL”

  13. Allow your child to pick the dinner for everyone.
  14. Eat at the fancy table. We have a formal dining room table we NEVER use. Last year we used it to eat the delivery pizza for my daughter’s birthday. We light candles and the kids knew without doubt, that day was SPECIAL.
  15. Have siblings serve them, clear the table, and do their assigned chores for the day.
  16. It is a tradition in our family to play “My favorite thing about Palmer is…” and we all go around share. Our cousins even call in with their favorite thing20 ways to fill your child's love tank on their birthday
  17. Celebrate the Waiting – in a world where we get everything right now, it’s tough to teach kids to wait, especially for good things. We thought we’d give them some practice in small areas (chewing gum, makeup) so they’d have some experience waiting for the bigger things like intimacy.  We make our kids wait until they are 10 to drink soda, then have a cooler full on their birthday. We celebrate those Waiting Milestones big time.

    celebrate the waiting

    photo by Michelle March

  18. Fill their closet or the kitchen cupboards with balloons. When they open them, they will fall out. Delight!

    photo by A Subtle Revelry

  19. Teach siblings that the most important thing on somebody’s birthday is making them feel special. When we go to a birthday party, our goal should be to make the birthday person feel special. This can be especially difficult in a society when the party favors are sometimes nicer than the gift brought.
  20. Make a party hat for your pet. I’m kinda kidding on this one, but kinda not. It doesn’t make your child feel special, but it sure is funny. 
  21. Let your child know that your greatest joy in life is that you GET TO BE THEIR MOMMY! They need to hear it…and often.

Click here for 14 More Ways to Fill your child’s Love Tank on their Birthday

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